Not too long ago a friend spent the day in our apartment and afterward he said, “It was really nice being in your space. I could totally feel you guys in there.”
And it just hit me. Huh. What do we feel like? I feel people all the time (call it vibes, intuition, whatever) but I never really paused to step back and ask myself that question. Never thought to FEEL myself.
So what DO I feel like? What do WE feel like?
Joy. Fun. Lighthearted.
Fear. Sorrowful. Mourning.
Dark clouds // Bright sun
How can this be?
How is it that they can both exist in me?
We are so ready to worship the sun and demonize the dark.
Like we already know who’s won.
But maybe, just maybe
the One we love
Dwells in the dark
And we don’t need to fear or run.
Come to me.
All you who are weary.
And I will give you rest.
I don’t know about you,
but when I see darkness or pain
I run. I flee.
But that fleeing isn’t really toward anything.
I’m starting to wonder though,
in those moments am I actually,
unknowingly running away from Something?
I keep running and running
Feeling more tired and more tired.
Spinning. In circles.
Still surrounded by the dark.
And when I finally can’t run anymore and everything comes crashing down
I’m terrified of what I’ll find or what will find me.
What’s waiting for me in this darkness?
What is this place?
The place where pain dwells.
Where sorrow and joy meet.
I feel nothing and I feel everything.
Everything is wrong and everything is right.
I’m afraid and I have nothing to fear.
You are WITH me.
I will not fear.
You comfort me.
I will not fear.
This is the place I find myself.
The place He finds me.
Sacred and secure.
Safe in His arms.
No I will not be in want.
Say it again.
No I WILL NOT be in want.
NO I WILL NOT BE IN WANT!
Because YOU’RE WITH ME!
I WILL NOT FEAR.
.The darkness covers me. I am cloaked in righteousness.
.A Daughter of the Most High.